I was in this group with a few girls and we were doing great and I forgot for the 2nd week in a row to make the call and I never do that, ever. I feel horrible and I am making myself wrong. I need to stop. OUt of the calls which came out of a course called money in motion I started creating necklaces to sell, which I am having a blast at doing.

Have you ever felt how you grow apart from friends that are you really good friends and you don't want to? I know I am from my best friend and I hate it. She is the one person I depend on for everything and this is part of growing up. My mom once told me that once you get married and have children that is your primary care in the world and I agree but I miss my friend so very much. I miss our good times and good laughs we have had. We don't live around the corner from each other anymore and she works a lot and I have a baby now so it is normal to grow apart but I am trying to deal with it. I am trying to for new friendships with new people which is fun and i am enjoying old friendships again. Those old friendships are fun to re-new. I am just immature and trying to grow up and having a hard time and wonder if i ever will, i am almost 32 yrs old married with an almost 1 yr old. when will growing up happen, oh yeah when i say it happens. One of the most annyoing things about me is that I see things so black and white and no gray. It is all or nothing to speak. I can have this friendship in bit pieces that i get of it but it sux big time. i am trying w/all my might to see the gray in this area and it is a daily challenge.

One day I will be a grown up!