Well I choose to stand up for myself today and get out what was bothering me with my friend and boy did that backfire. Not suprised with me. WE always fight and go through ups and downs in our 10 yr friendship. Much to be expected when we both are two hard headed gals. But this time it just might be no more. For once in my life I am not crying and hysterical about something. Yay. Breathrough. If i talked to this girl everyday I would be a wreck if I ended our frienship but I never see her or talk to her anymore so it is just like oh well, see you in the future I hope one day. Maybe we will become aquantinces in the future and talk twice a yr. I would be fine with that.

I am really enjoying breaking out and having all kinds of new friends. it is great and I am having so much fun. I get to have a couples dinner with new friends on fri night and my husband actually said yes. I am so excited about it.

Jade is climbing on her beloved Sue (dog)

I was in this group with a few girls and we were doing great and I forgot for the 2nd week in a row to make the call and I never do that, ever. I feel horrible and I am making myself wrong. I need to stop. OUt of the calls which came out of a course called money in motion I started creating necklaces to sell, which I am having a blast at doing.

Have you ever felt how you grow apart from friends that are you really good friends and you don't want to? I know I am from my best friend and I hate it. She is the one person I depend on for everything and this is part of growing up. My mom once told me that once you get married and have children that is your primary care in the world and I agree but I miss my friend so very much. I miss our good times and good laughs we have had. We don't live around the corner from each other anymore and she works a lot and I have a baby now so it is normal to grow apart but I am trying to deal with it. I am trying to for new friendships with new people which is fun and i am enjoying old friendships again. Those old friendships are fun to re-new. I am just immature and trying to grow up and having a hard time and wonder if i ever will, i am almost 32 yrs old married with an almost 1 yr old. when will growing up happen, oh yeah when i say it happens. One of the most annyoing things about me is that I see things so black and white and no gray. It is all or nothing to speak. I can have this friendship in bit pieces that i get of it but it sux big time. i am trying w/all my might to see the gray in this area and it is a daily challenge.

One day I will be a grown up!

father's day photos

feeling a little blah lately

For some odd reason I haven't been my usual excited, fun, inspirational self that I have been for months now. Not sure why and what is blocking me. I am ready to get rid of that person and become the fun, loving person i know how to be. My husband too. He usually is fun and full of life since jade was born but this week he has been in a funk too, wonder what is going on. Maybe the 105 2 week temperatures we are having. Too hot to do anything.

I am taking Jade to my friend's house for half the weekend and I am looking forward to that. Kate's step kids are gone for the weekend so jade gets her own room and i get my own room. Kinda of a vacation. Although I do have to bring a lot of stuff I must say. Ronnie can have a night to himself in his own home which I know means a lot to him and half of the 4th to himself as well. I think kate, jade and i will go swimming at my mom's on the 4th to enjoy the pool.

Ok well i am ready to squash the blah feeling and be back to my peppy fun self so goodbye blah adn hello peppy

s


I joined curves last week and have gotten to workout twice now. It is so exhilarating at the end of my workout, i have tons more energy and I am so much more positive than when I went in. I am waiting for the being tired all the time to go away now. I am going to workout on my machine at home on tues and thur's since i can't quite make it there due to my husband's schedule. i am so ready to shed this awful weight i never thought in my wildest dreams i would have put on.

In sept, my family and a close friend and her boyfriend are going to my favorite place, Port A for a vacation for 4 days. I am so looking forward to that.

I went to california for 4 days to visit my grandma one last time before she passes away and to visit old friends that i haven't seen in years and years and years and a friend that i have been close to for the past 18 yrs. Yikes did I say 18, damn I am gettting old.


Ronnie turns 40 in less than a month.

Thank you Megan Harner for inspiring me to write on my blog today. Your blog is so amazing and beautiful to read.

This past week we lost a client, not a patient but a client who was a very good friend of the Dr's and a friend of mine. He passed away so suddenly and unexpectedly. All of us were hit hard. He was such an amazing man. I am now in a new state of mind from it. I am so living each day to its fullest because you have no idea when your last day is. I am not dealing with petty things anymore just loving everyone in my life and living it. I want jade to grow up loving life so much.

I am going to stop complaining about being fat and just love myself. As I loose weight I am not going to complain about not being skinny enough. I am going to just love my body. I want anyone who hears me complain say something to me so I stop.

WE can say we are going to change but in reality we go back to being the same old person and not the one we want to be. That is why I am getting support from anyone who will give it to me to keep me in my positive state.

that is all for now

my job

So I got laid off of my other job where I was a social media assistant. But I am fine and OK with it because it had me get to try something else for the first time in 8 years and I had fun but realized that what I am doing now is what I want to be doing for a very long time. I so love my job. I used to take it for granted and be rude to my boss and upset about little things but now I am just happy all the time there. Pretty much all the time, I don't get irritated with anyone or anything. I used to roll my eyes at my boss when he told me to do something now i say OK what do you need. I now really appreciate my job and love just love taking care of animals and i really enjoy being with clients. i am such a people person. I like being the voice for animals. So I know I am in the right place in life with my career. I am stable again with my bi-polar.

My psychiatrist hadn't seen anyone in 20 yrs be so great and positive through pregnancy and afterwards for the first 7 months with how the level of bi-polar i have. I did hit the wall 3 weeks ago but all it took was correcting the dose of my meds and now i am great again. I am no longer annoyed by jade and love taking care of her and I appreciate my husband so much and our marriage is amazing. My life couldn't' be more rich as it is now. I am going back to work on Tues and Thur's and we got a sitter which i am happy about b/c i want more people in jade's life to teach her. i wish my mom could do it all the time but she has her own life and her own work and my mother-in law can't do it right now so we found the next best thing, a really great girl who knows babies well.

look at my cheeks i look like a cabbage patch doll

jade is talking and teething

I think I like having something to complain about. I didn't get to sleep much last night because Jade is teething so bad she wants to be up all night. I go in sometimes because she flips herself to one side that she can't get back over and frankly i want some sleep so i don't want to hear crying anymore. But it doesn't work. So I am not going in anymore unless she is screaming bloody murder for more than 20 mins. But this whole up for 1 hr talking and crying some and then sleeping is driving me insane. We are zombie parents. We are snappy at work with everyone (we work together, that is how we met), and all co-workers and clients get on our nerves sometimes cause we are so tired.

Today I had an oppurtuinity to take a nap while my mom had jade when I got off of work early. I took it big time. Now I feel rested and have nothing to do. Now instead of being tired and whiny about it I am bored. Come'on Kristen how about be happy for a change.

I have no idea how you parents who have 2 kids that are very small do it. I do not want another kid. I wanted another one badly when jade was sleeping 12 hrs a night but I think I am too old to do it again and I know ronnie is too old, he is 40 this year. One will do it for us.

To top it all off, my dr. is pretty sure I am a diabetic. I am taking the nasty glucose tolerance test next tues to find out. The only thing good about it is that I can get on some kind of medication to loose weight cause I am sick of this weight struggle. I never ever in my whole life thought I would have to deal with obesity and here it is. My dad is like this because he is diabetic and loosing weight when you are one is very hard to do. I am freaking determined to get this weight off and get skinny and pretty again. I am pretty miserable these days and uncomfortable in my own body. I am ready for the dr's to have some answers already.


I am excited to have sat's to myself now. My husband and I agreed that after I get off of work on sat's i can go to my friend's house and hang out with her all day and night and come home whenever. I am so excited about that. He gets one night a week to go out with a friend after work and I am now doing the same thing.

I have to utilize this blog more. It is a great outlet.

i am 7 months now

Yay jade is rolling front to back now. I am so happy. I never thought she would turn over.

I am doing so well at my social media assistant job. I love doing it. It is so new and I am having so much fun learning new things about life. There will never be a boring moment in this job I have taken on. I am hoping to do this full-time before the end of the summer so I can spend more time with Jade and make more money and do something more ful-fulling now. I guess I have put in my time of what I wanted with animals. My passion has died since I had jade. Not sure why , maybe because before animals were my kids and now I have a kid and she is my world. I still love giving advice I just am ready for something new in life and it is here and the time is now. This new job I have taken on with my best friend Kate is going to soar like crazy. It is getting busier and busier. I will always have animals to go back to if I want to. I get to work w/some pretty amazing people that we have hired, so we are positive all the time. It is great. Love it.

Picture of my sister Erica-almost 16 now

I am 6 months old now-i almost rolled over

jade on the floor in her diaper

grandma pat and jade

Everything you wrote in your blog, might be how you are feeling and how you are viewing yourself. But this is how I see you 100% of the time.
5 Reasons I LOVE being Kristen's Friend
1. She is selfless. Anytime I have ever needed her to be there for me, to support me, to provide uncontditional love or just make me laugh, she is there.
2. She is Honest. Kristen wears her mind on her sleeve. It's refreshing to be in the presence of someone who is so vulnerable all the time. Even when she thinks she isn't, she is.
3.She is Beautiful. Inside and out.
4. She is Fun. I don't think I've ever had more fun than when I am with Kristen. It is the only place that I can completely be myself 100% of the time.
5. She is True to herself. Kristen thrives to make herself a better person, in every area of her life. She doesn't always see that she is doing this, but just in being vulnerable and honest with those around her and willing to take responsibility for her actions, emotions and words allows her to grow as a person.
-Megan

Hello good day mate---

Today is an amazing day. Got to sleep from 9pm til 530 am, uninterrupted. Woke up in a great mood. Ready to conquer the world. I am at one of my jobs today which is the animal clinic. Kinda of boring today here at the clinic. Only 2 things scheduled. the past 3 weeks have been amazing with the clinic in how busy we have been and i only like to be there when it is that way. Because that means my talents get used, otherwise I feel like a wasted talented person up here.

So the big news for me is I have taken on another adventure in life. I am working side by side with my best friend Kate Buck Jr on social media and virtual assisting. I am going to be the manager of social media-which means; taking care of facebook accounts,myspace accounts, twitter accounts, and anything else that has to do with social media. I have been working on it for several weeks now and I love doing it. It is fun to help people acquire fans who are interested in what that person is doing and has to offer them in life. I work with people who think with the mind set of Law of Attraction. What you put out in the universe is what you get back. So let's say you say I want something bad to happened to that person who just cut me off in traffic, well then actually giving out that energy in the world in the end brings something bad on you not them. If you focus on anything negative then you will negative back. It is amazing to think positive and turn anything negative in to a positive. I am having the checks pouring in now because of it.

I will keep you posted my new adventures with Kate Buck